You guys, I just scored this (hilarious) one piece that covers eeeeerything on clearance at Lord & Taylor ($39). It is not the sexiest suit by any stretch, but that's pretty much the point. This is for those days when I'm bloated and can NOT be bothered to try to be cute.
Whether or not I actually wear this in public, we shall see, but the idea that I even own this option is comforting!
swimsuit: Ralph Lauren